Thursday, May 29, 2014

On the subject of #YesAllWomen and #NotAllMen

So a lot of women are pissed off by what they see as men trying to interject their thoughts and feelings into the ‪#‎YesAllWomen‬ stream. "They've had thousands of years to talk. Its their turn to listen," as one woman put it to me. But here's the problem. Men need to be a part of this conversation. They need to talk to someone about how they feel about these revelations from their mothers/sisters/daughters/friends. And if they can't talk to us because we are excluding them from this table, then they are going to talk to each other. And when they put their heads together and start talking about causes and effects and solutions WITHOUT US, and we get upset because THEY ARE DOING IT AGAIN they could rightly say "You uninvited us from your table so we made our own. Now you want to barge in and tell us how that makes you feel? Tough shit." Think about it. 

Meanwhile, a very good article about secondary trauma for those men who care and feel our pain. Talk to each other, guys, and give us some space. But please keep trying to talk to us. Because one day, hopefully soon, the silent scream of #YesAllWomen will subside enough for men and women to have a substantive conversation on solutions to what ‪#‎SomeMenDo‬.

As the mother of a two year old boy, I am desperate to find a path forward that eliminates the institutional misogyny and violence that pervades our society. I cannot, I will not, perpetuate it through him.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'm not sure how good the Blogger spam comment filter is, so I'm moderating all comments for now.